he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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