Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
