I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
