What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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