I want to stick my p in your. b.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
