I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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