Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
