She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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