My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
