doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Randomize
