dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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