from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
