insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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