just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
