Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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