It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
