Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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