Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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