I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
