new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
