Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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