you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
