I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
