searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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