She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
