so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
that may or may not have been my penis.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
