i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Randomize
