I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize