you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
We need a shit load of segways right now
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
