My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
