I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
