...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I wish I only lived at night.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I need moral support for this bender
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
