Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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