and she was petting her beer can
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
