Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
