I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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