You just made me feel so damn special
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize