I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
