So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize