im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
