I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
They are going to name an STD after you.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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