his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
