When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
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