No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
