my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
