What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
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