but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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