no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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