shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Randomize
