i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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