whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Randomize
