That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
