stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize