i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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