So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
