Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
