I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
