idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
