I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
