i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
