So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
