You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
