We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Randomize
