She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Randomize
